Ad Astra Infinitum: 2011

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

When the sun comes up, What song will you sing?

I'm exhausted. It's morning now, 10min till I'm off. Thats assuming people actually show up for work.

Pet Peeve Number 34782034890234903:

People who don't respect other peoples time. If you're sick, thats fine, stay home. But 90% of the time it's bullshit (And I know this). A 10 hour shift may not seem like much of a stretch from an 8hr, but it's killer in the long run. I need my fucking sleep. Show up for work fuckers.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Shift+Tues

I’m not ashamed to admit a lot of my faults. I’m very good at self-analysis and sometimes, it’s all I do. I wish there were some things I could change about myself. But try as I might, they always seem to come back in new and exciting ways. My ego is pretty big. A girl like Allison keeps my honest. When it gets to big, she keeps me in check. I couldn’t ask for anyone more honest. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, some I don’t know if I’ll ever recover from, and yet she stands by me. I’m thankful.

Things I keep trying to change but always fail at;

Not being so self involved. This one is a problem a lot of people have. I get so wrapped up in what’s good for me, or what’s best for me. I don’t think about anyone else really. This is a personality trait I hate about myself, especially when I compare it to how selfless some of those around me are. Try as I might, my first thoughts are generally of me, but the trade of it is, it lets me chastise myself and usually before I put my own foot in my mouth, I can stop and think twice about my reasoning.

Speaking first then thinking. I open my big mouth before thinking almost all the time. Ironically the only time I don’t is when I’m in an argument against a loved one. Then I keep my mouth shut. But 99% of the time I speak my mind without thinking about how it sounds, or what I’m saying. Some people would say they appreciate the honesty. Most of those people don’t understand what Tact is. Every time I’ve tried to change this, it’s made me moody and combative.

Keeping promises. One could say the simple answer is don’t make them. But sometimes I honestly believe I will follow through. I have every intention of such things. But then the time comes and for one reason (excuse) or another I can’t come through. I really hate this part of me. I feel I’m an honest person most of the time. But I have this bad habit. I don’t quite know how to change this. I’m working on it.

This was just a thought I was having. And decided to release.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Penny Arcade - Penny Arcade: The Series, Season 2, Episode 29 - The Bachelor Party - Part 2

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Tradition

Listening to: Queens of the Stone Age - Regular John

Traditions. We all have them, we all either love or hate them. But I'm not going to talk about personal traditions, as they are that. Do what you will when you feel like it. No, today I'm talking about the traditions of everyone. Those dates everyone deems "special". With the advent of Valentines day approaching, and for the second consecutive year of not being single around this time of year in a LONG TIME, I'm finding myself more annoyed than ever at this.

Holidays are supposedly the time of year we show those we care about affection on a grand scale. Everyone gets everyone a gift, invites them to parties, says warm things. Even if we don't particularly know the person, we're inclined to say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy new year!". Bullshit. It was an arbitrary day picked by some dudes almost 2 thousand years ago. I show my affection to who I want when I want. I bought Allison an iPad last year when they came out. I had planned it for 2 months. I didn't do it for any other reason than she had mentioned, in passing, that it'd be cool to have one. On that same token, I didn't get her a gift for valentine's day. Now she's big into tradition, I can't fault her too much for that, it's just I never have been. So when we get into a fight over these things, it usually doesn't lead anywhere; She wants what she wants, I want to ignore the stipulated dates for gift giving and just get her stuff when I feel like it. She didn't seem to mind the iPad, once she got over the initial shock that I had spent 600 bucks on her.

In the end, I always cave to some form of required giving on these days. Not because I am at my core a soft hearted fool pretending to be an asshole, but because I know it'll make her smile, it makes her happy. In the end that's all I want to do, and if biting back my opinion will do it, I'm willing to make that change, not to my opinion, but to what I'm willing to do to make her happy.

A lot of people think the way I do, but most of the people I know don't. They like the structure of having specified days to receive and give gifts on. They don't like randomly receiving a delivery with their name on it they did not order. They assume they now must get me something. That's not the point of gift giving for me. When I see something and buy it for someone else, I don't really worry about what I will get in return. I don't want anything. Mostly because I am the most notorious of everyone I know to get gifts. It's hard to get me something I didn't ask for because usually I'll have bought it for myself. This is why I think I have these opinions and why I feel the way I do about it.

So if I ever get you a present, please, don't get me one back, that's not why I did it.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Desktop And Tops for January

So here we are, it's been a month, holy crap have I accomplished a lot of nothing. Which is fine.

I've worked on some stuff here and there, and helped the woman with some of her things. Now it's time to get cracking. though.

Top Music

Los Angeles - Sugarcult

Sleepwalking - The Birthday Massacre

We Are All on Drugs - Weezer

I think we're alone now - The Birthday Massacre

Memories - Weezer

Talkin 2 Myself - Eminem

So Much i - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Black Sheep - Metric

Step Down - The Moxy.

Top Movies

1. Green Hornet

2. Scott Pilgrim

3. The Dark Knight

Top TV

1. The Cape

2. V

3. Young Justice

4. Bullshit!

5. Burn Notice

Top games!

1. DC Universe Online

2. CounterStrike

3. Pokemon HEart Gold

4. Skate It (iPhone

Here is my current desktop image, and has been since near the beginning of the month. It is in anticipation of Marvel vs Capcom 3.

http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc286/riotknight/MyDesktopJanuary.jpg

Friday, January 21, 2011

Current Playlist

1. Los Angeles - Sugarcult
2. Soul on Fire - HIM
3. DARE - Gorrillas
4. Snow - RHCP
5. Hello Hello - The Moxy
6. 19-2000 (Soulchild Remix) - Goirllas
7. Step Down - The Moxy
8. Touch it/Technologic - Daft Punk
9. Threshold - Sex Bob-Omb
10. Badream - Jakalope
11. My Name is Jonas - Weezer
12. Pretty Girl - Sugarcult
13. 25 to Life - Eminem
14. Black Sheep - Metric
15. We Are Sex Bob-Omb
16. Sleep Walking - The Birthday Massacre
17. Right here in My arms - HIM
18. Feel it - Jakalope
19. Starstrukk (Ft. Katy perry) - 3OH!3

Fuck Today.

Listening to: "Los Angeles" Sugarcult, Lights Out.

Some days I wake up feeling like I have nothing worth doing, that I don't want to work, I don't want to keep fighting for what I want. Some days I wake up and think I can't do any better. It's these days where I need my space. Where I don't want anyone around me, and I don't want anyone's asshole opinion. Oddly, these days also tend to be my most productive. I get restless, I make impulsive decisions and occasionally solve a whack load of problems I've been having.

Today I woke up and wondered "why bother?". I woke up miserable and I wanted to punch myself in the face. When i finally dragged myself out of bed. I did my usual routine of grabbing a drink, sitting at the computer, reading my news sites and throwing on iTunes. As I sat here, listening to music and reading. I figured "Hey fucker, write a blog". I Don't know if it's a down spiral or not. I hope not. But I feel motivated. I don't know what I am going to do with this energy. I want to write, but I feel like it won't be good enough. I want to paint, But the lighting in here is shit for it. I want to get a job, but I really don't want settle for less than what I'm worth.

I always used to use this energy to clean or something ridiculous. But the apartment is relatively clean. Although after having written this, maybe it's time I get some bullshit done I've needed to do for a while. I just really don't like going to staples.

First things first, I'm off to the gym.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vATvNdMS-QM

"Los Angeles"

I want a girl, girl that won't talk back
And a job, job that gives me slack
And a car, car that won't break down
In the heat of Los Angeles
I want to go, go without a map
Far away, away, I won't get trapped
By the sound, a town, the sun beats down
In the heat of Los Angeles

One more holiday
I will not celebrate
I'm almost desperate
Cause I'm down, I'm down, I'm so beat down

This city's killing me
I want, I want, I want everything
This city's killing me
In the heat of Los Angeles

I want a love, love that won't hit back
Want sex, sex without a catch
Want a face, to trust, to feel, to lust
In the heat of Los Angeles
Want to fuck, fuck, fuck this up
Gonna feel, feel, feel you up
Had enough, enough, enough's enough
In the heat of Los Angeles

This city's killing me
I want, I want, I want everything
This city's killing me
In the heat of Los Angeles
What has become of me?
I want, I want, I want everything
This city's killing me
(I want everything)

Come on, come on
It's alive and breathing
Come on, come on
Come alive today
Come on, come on
It's a heartless beating
The sun is burning down Los Angeles
Los Angeles
Los Angeles

I want a girl, girl that won't talk back
And a job, job that gives me slack
And a car, car that won't break down
In the heat of Los Angeles

Come on, come on
It's alive and breathing
Come on, come on
Come alive today
Come on, come on
It's a heartless beating
The sun is burning down

(This city's killing me)
Come on, come on
It's alive and breathing
Come on, come on
Come alive today
(This city's killing me)
Come on, come on
It's a heartless beating
The sun is burning down Los Angeles (one more holiday)
The sun is burning down Los Angeles (I will not celebrate)
The sun is burning down Los Angeles (one more holiday)
The sun is burning down Los Angeles (I will not celebrate)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Tops from my Year at School

Now it feels like it's been longer than that, maybe it's been shorter. But let's do this.

Note these are in no Particular order.

Top 25 Songs Listened to:

1. Starstrukk Ft. Katy Perry - 3OH!3

2. Poison (95EQ) - The Prodigy

3. Wake the Fuck Up - The Prodigy

4. I bet You look Good on the Dance Floor - Arctic Monkeys

5. M.A.D. - Hadouken!

6. Feel Good Hit of the Summer - Queens of the Stoneage

7. Smooth Criminal - Alien Ant Farm

8. Boiled Frogs - Alexisonfire

9. Young Lust - Aerosmith

10. No Man Army ft. Tom Morello - The Prodigy

11. Stellar - Incubus

12. Black Jesus - Everlast

13. All my Life - Foo Fighters

14. Clean - Incubus

15. Please Come Home - Dustin Kensrue (from THRICE)

16. The Artist in the Ambulance (Live) - Thrice

17. Step Down - The Moxy

18. Like a Boss - The Lonely Island

19. Soul on Fire - H.I.M.

20. Heartkiller - H.I.M.

21. El Scorcho - Weezer

22. Hello Hello - The Moxy

23. 25 to Life - Eminem

24. Savior - Rise Against

25. 21st Century Digital Boy - Bad Religion

On Distractions

Listening To: H.I.M. "You are the one" from Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights.

Distractions. Everyone suffers from them. We sit down with the best of intentions to work, but as an example, even now, I have this word document open, Raptr(MSN), iTunes, Tweetdeck, Facebook and gmail windows open, as well as Chrome with Kotaku and io9 open as well. Odds are this blog will take me 2-3 times longer to write than If I had just this window open.

But then would I be able to sit? I'm the kind of person who needs constant distractions while I work. I tried it all through school, trying to close out all distractions to focus solely on the work. I don't think I ever missed a deadline. What I found really worked was no one else in the apartment (or asleep in the bedroom). As many things on my computer that can distract me, I got the work done. And well, I think.

"But you're not giving your full attention to the job!" I hear it. And I get people that have to do it that way. But I'd rather take my time, be distracted and get done a good piece of work, than to try and sit here for an hour and try and hammer out something That in the end will probably just bug me. I found especially when writing my feature, that if I didn't have all these things (and Garrett distracting me, and me him) I would have probably fallen asleep at 3am writing, I made it till about 4 or 5 (I don't quite recall). But I finished it is the point.

The quality of my work isn't based on what else I may be doing while I do it. In a work-at-home environment i prefer it this way. I have worked in deadline sensitive jobs outside of home, and it's a little different. At Options I didn't have the kind of distractions I have at home. I had access to the internet for sure, but I also had a steady stream of customers coming in, needing a variety of things copied, or sending packages. I don't feel it was that different from distracting myself by building a new playlist, or chatting with people on IM. I still did my job.

Distractions help me focus, oddly, and maybe not in the same way other people focus. If I have no deadline, I will never finish, it's a sad truth, but I'm pretty much a deadline whore. I need self imposed deadlines (with repercussions) or else I just kind of let it go... It's a bad work habbit and I am working on changing it, but for now, self imposed deadlines, with distractions will have to do.

This week I have a character to develop. My goal is to finish the main character first and move on. The problem with this new script is that I have no clear antagonist yet, and none of the options stand out well... I'll have to work on this problem as I go, but I'm not at that stage yet.

Anyone else out there like me? Need distractions in order to work efficiently? I can't be the only one.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

A Year Ago

Listening to: The Birthday Massacre "Sleepwalking" from Pins and Needles (2010)

It's been a year since I entered Vancouver Film School's "Writing for Film and Television" program. In the last year, I have written more than I possibly ever thought I was capable. I was challenged to lose my ego in it, and let others shred my work to pieces in front of, for the sake of the greater goal of perfecting the work. I made some amazing friends, and consumed more red bull than a human probably should. I had my moments of despair, and my moments of triumphs, all culminating in a little piece of paper that says "DIPLOMA" on it.

I wrote a feature, something I never had any real interest in doing at first, the subject matter had some pretty tight parameters, and I ended up with a feature about two brothers who have to haul cars across the country to save their family business. It's a family drama, WAY outside what I normally write. But I wrote it, and, while rough around the edges, I saw what I was capable of. I had finally, truly, written in a different genre from anything I'd ever written. I pulled all nighters to finish it, and now, 6 months after finishing it, I can look at it again and say how well it turned out, considering my amature status in the Drama department.

I wrote a speculative script for an existing TV show. We had pretty much choice of any show currently in production. While I had MANY ideas for shows I loved in the past, the enforcement of "Currently in production" saw me question many of the Choices I would make in the coming 2 terms, where I would write. Sons of Anarchy was a fairly new show, with only 2 seasons at that point, and heavily serialized at that, which made writing for it dangerous. I thought once I had my idea, it'd get easier. But thanks to my instructors and classmates, It was much more challenging than i originally thought it would be. Through outline to the Second draft, I was fighting with myself to push it farther and make it better. The end result was amazing, and, while the new season may have wrecked part of my episode, I know it's not the end of the world, and when I go to update the script, I can fix it. I can do this in the confidence I have thanks to how hard I worked, and how hard my classmates worked with me.

I wrote a pilot to my long standing Astra stories. I redefined the story some years ago, and made it my own, with new twists on old ideas of mine. Taking it through Pilot class was both a harrowing and amazing process. Having known, lived, and breathed these characters for over a decade, or more, I would face some interesting problems. The first my perceived notion of the story, would it work for a television series? The answer of course being yes, but would it work the way I wanted it to? Sure I want to stand out, but there is a reason many of the shows on TV are the same as the other shows on TV. Next the choice i faced was; Animated or 1 hour drama? Well. I'd never really thought about it, I'd just assumed animated in a anime sort of way. But does the story suit a 1 hour drama more? This is something I'm still struggling with today. I wrote it as a half hour animated series, catered to a younger audience than I would like. Thanks to the 3 terms spent on this, a lot of thought went into this as a series. I loved what came out of it, even if I end up not using it, it helped a lot, and the process for me is possibly one of the better I've been through for developing an already existing idea.

And last but not least, I wrote a second speculative script. This time for a show I know almost as much about as I know about my own stories. Supernatural. And starting to write it before the most recent season had begun, it afforded me again, the chance and problem of not knowing where the season was going to go. And writing it was an ongoing exploration of where in THIS season I would place it. Learning as I went, it was extremely helpful actually, and knowing the process of how to do these things, made writing it this time much easier. So what the end result was a great Supernatural story that will likely never see creation (which is fine, this script is for reading, not production) that I feel is unique, and non "fanficcy".

And all through this year, living away from home, from my best friends, but with my best friend and my girlfriend. Living with Allison has been possibly the best experience for me while in school. I would have burnt out and given up early on had it not been for the support she provided me. She puts up with my shit more than any other person I think ever has. It's been a hell of a year, and I'm glad she took the chance on me to move out here too.

So where have my Blog updates been? There are a lot of reasons my Blog lay dormant while I was in school, the most obvious being; I was spending anywhere from 3 to 12 hours in class a day, and then between 5 and 14 hours a day writing. The last thing I wanted to do was look at a keyboard; Which makes it sound like I don't want to be a writer, which is false. Just in that setting, writing a blog may have been detrimental to other things that required my attention.

Now that school is done, and I'm a VFS graduate, I'm back.

-j

Ad Astra Infinitum