Fuck Today.

Listening to: "Los Angeles" Sugarcult, Lights Out.

Some days I wake up feeling like I have nothing worth doing, that I don't want to work, I don't want to keep fighting for what I want. Some days I wake up and think I can't do any better. It's these days where I need my space. Where I don't want anyone around me, and I don't want anyone's asshole opinion. Oddly, these days also tend to be my most productive. I get restless, I make impulsive decisions and occasionally solve a whack load of problems I've been having.

Today I woke up and wondered "why bother?". I woke up miserable and I wanted to punch myself in the face. When i finally dragged myself out of bed. I did my usual routine of grabbing a drink, sitting at the computer, reading my news sites and throwing on iTunes. As I sat here, listening to music and reading. I figured "Hey fucker, write a blog". I Don't know if it's a down spiral or not. I hope not. But I feel motivated. I don't know what I am going to do with this energy. I want to write, but I feel like it won't be good enough. I want to paint, But the lighting in here is shit for it. I want to get a job, but I really don't want settle for less than what I'm worth.

I always used to use this energy to clean or something ridiculous. But the apartment is relatively clean. Although after having written this, maybe it's time I get some bullshit done I've needed to do for a while. I just really don't like going to staples.

First things first, I'm off to the gym.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vATvNdMS-QM

"Los Angeles"

I want a girl, girl that won't talk back
And a job, job that gives me slack
And a car, car that won't break down
In the heat of Los Angeles
I want to go, go without a map
Far away, away, I won't get trapped
By the sound, a town, the sun beats down
In the heat of Los Angeles

One more holiday
I will not celebrate
I'm almost desperate
Cause I'm down, I'm down, I'm so beat down

This city's killing me
I want, I want, I want everything
This city's killing me
In the heat of Los Angeles

I want a love, love that won't hit back
Want sex, sex without a catch
Want a face, to trust, to feel, to lust
In the heat of Los Angeles
Want to fuck, fuck, fuck this up
Gonna feel, feel, feel you up
Had enough, enough, enough's enough
In the heat of Los Angeles

This city's killing me
I want, I want, I want everything
This city's killing me
In the heat of Los Angeles
What has become of me?
I want, I want, I want everything
This city's killing me
(I want everything)

Come on, come on
It's alive and breathing
Come on, come on
Come alive today
Come on, come on
It's a heartless beating
The sun is burning down Los Angeles
Los Angeles
Los Angeles

I want a girl, girl that won't talk back
And a job, job that gives me slack
And a car, car that won't break down
In the heat of Los Angeles

Come on, come on
It's alive and breathing
Come on, come on
Come alive today
Come on, come on
It's a heartless beating
The sun is burning down

(This city's killing me)
Come on, come on
It's alive and breathing
Come on, come on
Come alive today
(This city's killing me)
Come on, come on
It's a heartless beating
The sun is burning down Los Angeles (one more holiday)
The sun is burning down Los Angeles (I will not celebrate)
The sun is burning down Los Angeles (one more holiday)
The sun is burning down Los Angeles (I will not celebrate)