Shift+Tues

I’m not ashamed to admit a lot of my faults. I’m very good at self-analysis and sometimes, it’s all I do. I wish there were some things I could change about myself. But try as I might, they always seem to come back in new and exciting ways. My ego is pretty big. A girl like Allison keeps my honest. When it gets to big, she keeps me in check. I couldn’t ask for anyone more honest. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, some I don’t know if I’ll ever recover from, and yet she stands by me. I’m thankful.

Things I keep trying to change but always fail at;

Not being so self involved. This one is a problem a lot of people have. I get so wrapped up in what’s good for me, or what’s best for me. I don’t think about anyone else really. This is a personality trait I hate about myself, especially when I compare it to how selfless some of those around me are. Try as I might, my first thoughts are generally of me, but the trade of it is, it lets me chastise myself and usually before I put my own foot in my mouth, I can stop and think twice about my reasoning.

Speaking first then thinking. I open my big mouth before thinking almost all the time. Ironically the only time I don’t is when I’m in an argument against a loved one. Then I keep my mouth shut. But 99% of the time I speak my mind without thinking about how it sounds, or what I’m saying. Some people would say they appreciate the honesty. Most of those people don’t understand what Tact is. Every time I’ve tried to change this, it’s made me moody and combative.

Keeping promises. One could say the simple answer is don’t make them. But sometimes I honestly believe I will follow through. I have every intention of such things. But then the time comes and for one reason (excuse) or another I can’t come through. I really hate this part of me. I feel I’m an honest person most of the time. But I have this bad habit. I don’t quite know how to change this. I’m working on it.

This was just a thought I was having. And decided to release.