You Could save me from the Way I Tend to Be.

"The Way I Tend To Be"

Some mornings I pray for evening,
For the day to be done.
Some summer days I hide away
And wait for rain to come.
It turns out hell will not be found
Within the fires below,
But in making do and muddling through
When you've nowhere else to go.

But then I remember you,
And the way you shine like truth in all you do.
And if you remembered me,
You could save me from the way I tend to be.
The way I tend to be

Some days I wake up dazed my dear,
And I don't know where I am.
I've been running now so long I'm scared
I've forgotten how to stand.
And I stand alone in airport bars
And gather thoughts to think:
That if all I had was one long road
It could drive a man to drink.

But then I remember you,
And the way you shine like truth in all you do.
And if you remembered me,
You could save me from the way I tend to be.

'Cause I've said I love you so many times that the words kinda die in my mouth.
And I meant it each time with each beautiful woman but somehow it never works out.
But you stood apart in my calloused heart, and you taught me and here's what I learned:
That love is about all the changes you make and not just three small words.

And then I catch myself
Catching your scent on someone else
In a crowded space
And it takes me somewhere I cannot quite place.

And then I remember you,
And the way you shine like truth in all you do.
And if you remembered me,
You could save me from the way I tend to be, the way I tend to be.
Way I tend to be.
The way I tend to be.

Her Words Destroyed my Planet - MCS

Maybe you were right after all...

Maybe I'm just bad news...

I've been drowning in memories

Call it residual blues

I fell asleep watching Veronica Mars again

(Hey!)

I still futz with that tourniquet

And tried to squeeze on your dreams

Slung it on- it's a perfect fit

What do you suppose that means?

My parents keep asking when you're planning on coming around

If we'd only stayed together

I might not have fallen apart

But the words you served destroyed my planet

I stall before I start

I stall before I start anything at all

Got a job at uncommon grounds

I finally shaved off that beard

I sold my Xbox to Jimmy down the street

Hell, I even quit smoking weed

I'm taking an online course- I'm learning to speak Japanese

If we'd only stayed together

I might not have fallen apart

But the words you served destroyed my planet

I stall before I start

I stall before I start anything at all

The things that used to mean so much to me...

Have gone the way of dinosaurs, hopes and dreams, and everything

All I want for you to be is happy or something...

I guess anything is better than the time you spent hoping I'd get it sorted out

I sent you a post card

But the post office sent it back...

They said the buildings been torn down

I just miss what I thought we would have

If we'd only stayed together

I might not have fallen apart

But the words you served destroyed my planet

It's all my fucking fault!

If we'd only stayed together

I might not have fallen apart

But the words you served destroyed my planet

I stall before I start

I stall before I start anything at all

We're broken People

"Screen"

I do not know why I would go

In front of you and hide my soul

Cause you're the only one who knows it,

Yeah you're the only one who knows it

And I will hide behind my pride

Don't know why I think I can lie

Cause there's a screen on my chest

Yeah there's a screen on my chest

I'm standing in front of you

I'm standing in front of you

I'm trying to be so cool

Everything together trying to be so cool

[x2]

I can't see past my own nose, I'm seeing everything in slo-mo

Look out below crashing down to the ground just like a vertical locomotive

That's a train, am I painting the picture that's in my brain?

A train from the sky, locomotive, my motives are insane

My flow's not great, okay, I conversate with people

Who know if I flow on a song I'll get no radio play

While you're doing fine, there's some people and I

Who have a really tough time getting through this life

So excuse us while we sing to the sky.

I'm standing in front of you

I'm standing in front of you

I'm trying to be so cool

Everything together trying to be so cool

[x2]

We're broken

We're broken

We're broken

We're broken people, oh.

We're broken people, oh.

[x3]

(We're broken

We're broken

We're broken

We're broken people, oh.

We're broken people, oh.)

[x2]

I'm standing in front of you

I'm standing in front of you

I'm trying to be so cool

Everything together trying to be so cool

[x2]

Stand Up straight but have the Strength to Fall

Gotta get it right, gotta get it right

To make today mine

I wanna be the best

I wanna wake up feeling like I fucking slept

I wanna prove you wrong, that my story isn't written

I wanna be something gold, I wanna be someone different

Wanna turn back the clock, tell my father to be stronger

Cause he missed me growing up

And I want to tell the little girl in the corner of that room

Don't lose hope, just be brave, things get better soon

I wanna fall in love

I wanna crash and burn but learn to rise above

And I don't care about success, I just wanna make you proud

I wanna be the kind of person who shows up and sticks around

I wanna stay sincere, but that kind of thing is tricky

When you give up all yourself and still the end result is iffy

Like nothing I've created even matters

So now I wanna do stupid shit, I wanna get fucking plastered

Want to get out my brain, want to shed my skin

I need to find someone to tuck me in

Want you to know that I wanna be better

But it feels like it's gonna take forever

Gotta get it right, gotta get it right

To make today mine

I wanna do it all

I wanna stand up straight but have the strength to fall

I wanna tell my cousin to stop treating people bad

I know you think that no one sees, but I've been keeping tabs

I wanna be consoled

I want the world to change, I wanna die when I'm old

And I don't wanna make mistakes that I've been watching all my life

It's easy to do because, I want to be good despite

I wanna go somewhere else, I wanna get super high

Tell you to go fuck yourself, cause shit I'm doing fine

I wanna go break the chain of what I'm supposed to be

I wanna locate my faith, drop down on both my knees

And honestly, I wanna ask if you'd stay

For a night, for a week, or just a day

Always moving too late, shit I've been regretting

I wanna throw my phone, I wanna quit confessing

I wanna cast the blame, but nobody's at fault

Confusion got me building these walls

Want you to know that I wanna be better

But it feels like it's going to take forever

[Hook]

Gotta get it right, gotta get it right

To make today mine

Calm Before the Storm

Winds blowing hard in a direction and I can feel it. It was likely inevitable, and I am more than prepared. There is still much work to do, and still so much more of my life to experience. I'll be okay, just give me a minute :).

I don't pretend to have any Shame

I felt whole for the first time about a week go, in about 2 years. There was some question as to where I am, how I feel or my contentedness.

I cancelled all my online dating profiles, deleted OKcupid, the only thing left is Tinder on my phone, and honestly The only reason I keep it is to show people that Tinder exists on Windows Phone at work. It felt liberating. It's basically a full time job; convincing someone, based solely on little white boxes on the internet and a few pictures, to meet you, and there's no guarantee there will be a connection. I have succeeded 3 times at this, and none of them panned out.  Besides, I'd rather take that energy and put it into developing existing or new skills, fostering existing relationships. That's not to say I'm not open to things as they develop, but I'm done chasing that carrot.

Things feel great, and are great, and I felt like sharing it with the world. More The Weeknd now.

You just wanna fill the void now

I can tell that you've been yelling at him all night long

And I can hear it in your voice now

He got you smoking extra packs a day

Don't you worry 'bout me talking

I know why you've been coming

I'll be quiet, this ain't nothing to me

Just wrap your legs around my waist

I won't stop until you ask me

Don't you worry 'bout us messing up my sheets

Cause unlike you I got nothing to hide

I don't pretend to have any shame

I got a box we could put all your lies in

Until the end of days

You know that I will be a call away

The call you make when you're all alone

And I know that I will always be the one

You repent when you are done

The Weeknd Delivers

You’ll never make me stay
So take your weight off of me
I know your every move
So won’t you please let me be
I’ve been here times before
But I was to blind to see
That you seduce every man
This time you won’t seduce me

She’s saying that’s ok
Hey, baby, do what you please
I am the stuff that you want
I am the thing that you need
She looked me deep in the eyes
She’s touchin’ me so to start
She says there’s no turnin’ back
She trapped me in her heart

[Hook]
Dirty Diana, no
Dirty Diana, no
Dirty Diana, no
Dirty Diana
Let me be!

Ooh

She likes the boys in the band
She knows when they come to town
Every musician’s fan after the curtains come down
She waits at backstage doors
For those who have prestige
Who promise fortune and fame
A life that’s so carefree

She’s saying that’s ok
Hey, baby, do what you want
I’ll be your night lovin’ thing
I’ll be the freak you can taunt
And I don’t care what you say
I want to go too far
I’ll be your everything
If you make me a star

[Hook]
Dirty Diana, oh
Dirty Diana, no
Dirty Diana, ooh
Dirty Diana
Dirty Diana, ooh
Dirty Diana, no
Dirty Diana, no
Dirty Diana
Let me be…

She said I have to go home
Cause I’m real tired you see
But I hate sleepin’ alone
Why don’t you come with me
I said my baby’s at home
She’s probably worried tonight
I didn’t call on the phone to
Say that I’m alright

Diana walked up to me
She said I’m all yours tonight
At that I ran to the phone
Sayin’ baby, I’m alright
I said unlock the door
Because I forgot the key
She said he’s not coming back
Because he’s sleeping with me